Relationships with Ladyboys
First of all: Why not? There is no reason why it should not work? After all, in a male-katoey realationship roles are clear. Much clearer than in most marriages.
A comment of our reader Boonsong made me think about this topic. He wrote as a comment on our last post on lyrics about a transsexual girl, that the lyrics of the famous “Lola”-song by The Kinks tell almost the same story. The story of a romance between a man and a transsexual.
So what about TS-male relationships?
Many of my Katoey friends are in long term relationships. Many of them close to the point of marriage if only law allowed it in Thailand, which it does not.
Others play the role of the so called “mia noi”- a kept woman. Having more than one wife is nothing unusual in Thailand, though only one is official. So why shouldn´t it be the same with a “mia noi katoey”?
I am not so sure about the way it works in Western countries. I know some Thai Ladyboys who married men from Europe and North America, but have no clue how they live and of which quality their relationships and their loves are.
The only full story I know is about a Singaporean TS who fell in love with a German guy and married him. They seem to be pretty happy the last time I heard about them.
In my opinion the fact that a Ladyboy lives together with a man has no special negative influence on the relationship. More difficult to overcome are certainly all obstacles that come along with cross-cultural relationships.
In fact, a partnership with a transsexual might see even less troubles than “normal” couples have to experience. I don´t want to divagate too much on my point of view how “advantageous” we are, but the as mentioned in the beginning of this post the clear roles of man and woman make may save trouble.
Most important: Both partners have to suit each other. Many men who are looking for a relationship with a Ladyboy and eventually find one that is seeking the same, forget about the fact, that a working relationship needs a bigger deal in common than just having found a Ladyboy.
Also a short research on the net shows the same dilemma: Many men have only encounters with TS-prostitutes and hence respective experiences and expectations. But who is to blame? Wouldn´t the experiences and expectations be the same if they lived together with a “normal” prostitute? Again they forget that only small percentages are sex workers but of course they are more visible than the rest.
We are living in modern times. The internet allows people to meet each other without borders. Societies become more open and hopefully the legal restrictions will soon fade and marriages with Ladyboys will be normal. Love must be the guideline not ignorance.
Tags: thai thailand, Katoey ladyboy, transsexual transgender love realtionship partnership